| | Today always felt like a weird day. Whenever I ate, I had hollow pains in my stomach. I thought perhaps it was the shocking stories of what my dear friend and coworker Sean was facing as we ate German hot dogs and sweet potato fries outside on a summer-like fall afternoon. But really, it was something else, something I had yet to find out.
I had post work plans to meet my friend Ran for dinner to catch up and also because tomorrow is her birthday. As we ate Indian in Curry Hill, my phone buzzed and it said "Mom & Dad," so I silenced it.
"My parents are remodeling, they have been calling me five times a day about granite," I said as I rolled my eyes while joking disgust.
My phone buzzed from the voicemail and then for a text message, and it was Sean thanking me for listening to him. Then not 5 minutes later, my phone rang again. It was my parents again, and this time I decided to pick it up.
Thinking it was granite again, I grunted as I answered the phone.
"Did you get Daddy's voicemail?" My mom asked.
"No, I'm at dinner with a friend"
"Robbie, this time it's bad news."
I thought of my sister, my nephew, and then my mom said as she started crying, "Richar' commit suicide yesterday." I cried out in shock as water welled up in my eyes, and Ran's face showed that she could see something bad was happening.
Richard is the longest friend I've ever had, and there's so much history between us I can't even begin to lay it out here. I only had 3 great friends before college, and he was one of them. My mom said minor details and was telling me more and more, but I was not ready to accept this, I was not ready to absorb this. I told her I'd call her later, and decided to devote my denial to spending time with my friend.
We talked about it for a while over our lamb dinners, I was a bit detached in doing so before we changed the subject. We eventually went to 34th street where we found a spot outside to play Mario Kart.
When we finally separated at Queensboro, I knew it was time for me to start facing my feelings. I checked my voicemail to hear what my dad said.
"Robbie, it's Daddy. I have bad news, Richar' committed suicide yesterday. Thursday, the 26th. We just got message today."
I cried amongst a crowd of strangers, I cried as I walked home in the dark, and then I came home, pulled up the few pictures of me and Richard growing up I kept on my hard drive and cried until I couldn't breathe. Heaving, painful cries I have never cried before. There are so many memories I want to bring back of my friendship with Richard as I mourn his loss while my cries fade in and out. I remembered I wrote a lot of pieces in my food writing class in 2001, and I was thankful that I found a piece I wrote about Richard.
I am trying to get past the first paragraph without my eyes being clouded in tears and my breaths stuck in heaves. And there is more to say than this old, poorly written piece but for now, this will do.
Richard
Richard and I met when we were babies, just like me and Bradley. We were always very alike, I assumed it was because his birthday is June 9th while mine is June 6th. Bradley and I led childhood together but our parents never spoke to each to each other. My parents are shy and don’t have any American friends because their accents make them feel insecure. Richard’s parents were also Taiwanese and also on the same political side. My parents were friends with his, so it gave a different level to my friendship with him. We were the same ethnicity and both babies of the family. It was a great contrast to my other buddy, Bradley.
When I was eight I thought our friendship was over. My parents had a party, which they rarely do. I didn’t realize it was a farewell party. We were in the family room eating Bah-Tzang. Our parents unwrapped the banana leaves and put the rice on a plate for us to eat. We were both fickle and couldn’t finish. Richard liked chicken. My mom told me the story of how he would cry all night keeping his mom awake when he was a baby. The only thing that would shut him up was chicken.
We gave up on the Bah-Tzang while sitting on edge of my fireplace. Richard’s dad threw his away and my mom came in and gave the rest of mine for my dad to finish. Later that night my mom complained about how his food was wasted. We went to the living room, weaving through the crowd of Taiwanese speaking parents. We sat on the orange couch when Richard told me that they were moving to Japan. I started to cry, thinking I would never see my close friend again. He calmly said "it’s no big deal, I’ll be back."
He was right, our friendship wasn’t over. For the next five years he would come back every Christmas and summer. After that they became tired and only came home during summers. The first day back was always weird. We didn’t know what to say, but on our first sleepover of each summer we would end up talking through the night.
We became closer through the time we were forced apart. In the summers we would go to play tennis every afternoon until night fell with all the other Taiwanese parents. We never played a game once in ten years. We just liked to hit the ball to each other and avoided competition. Afterwards we would have a soda and sit on the benches waiting for our parents to finish their doubles match. We would talk about comic books or movies, then as we got older music, then talks of college and being grown ups. Once it got dark we swatted the mosquitoes as our parents stood in a circle for another hour, yapping away in Taiwanese. We would then wave goodbye from the back of each other’s cars and wait to see each other the next night.
This year Richard’s family finally moved back to the U.S. They returned as millionaires and bought a huge house. After my first year in college we really grew apart. He likes Rock Music and I like R&B. All that was left was our common interest in movies and computers. Just like when Bradley moved in to his new house four years before, Richard and I played pool in his new basement when we were bored. There wasn’t much else for us to do but watch movies or play pool. The last day we spent together this summer we spent hours deciding what to do for dinner. Do we eat in? Eat out? We’ve always taken a long time to decide things. We ended up eating at McDonald’s. Richard had chicken. Inside we are the same kids we always were. Even though we have little in common now we still hang out every summer. Our friendship has lasted nearly 19 years and I’m only 20. I doubt it will end anytime soon.
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| | Posted 9/28/2007 1:04 AM - 28 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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